She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
