Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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