i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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