What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize