Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
