Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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