Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize