talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
