her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
