You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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