Sponge bath it is.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
