Jerry, you need to find god
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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