I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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