New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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