what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize