At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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