She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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