party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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