We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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