Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
