next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
