i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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