Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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