My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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