the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
