I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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