I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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