We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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