That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
