youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
