If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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