Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
