im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
