...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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