Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
