im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
As shirtless as possible
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
