Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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