I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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