hell yes lets make some ravioli
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
