We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love you. Go after that dick
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
