Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
