Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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