JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms