you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
