Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
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Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.