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He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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