She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....