filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
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tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.