Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize