eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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