As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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