By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
