He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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