Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
