i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
is it fun? or sober?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize