Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
