Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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